wOct 11, 2006

Teh suck.

Usually, on most nights, when it gets to be time to write in my blog, I just don't even know where to start. So I don't.

I had a few things that I thought about during the day that I might have blogged about.

But all I can really think about right now is how cold I am. I mean, I expected to be colder here upstairs than in the rest of the house, but this is due to more than a floor's difference. The heat just doesn't go on in our house at night, at all. Our thermostat has this setting where you can put a schedule into it. This schedule includes a cycle called "sleep," during which the heat does not turn on at all, no matter what the temperature is inside the house.

So, today, after putting the pieces together that "sleep" means "slowly freeze to death while you're too unconscious to notice," I decided to see if it was fixable. I mean, we have already had a few nights where the temperature has dipped into the mid-30's, and right now, for example, it's 45. My left palm is resting directly on top of the battery of my laptop and I can only faintly feel the heat. My nose is red and cold, my fingertips are icy, and even sitting hunched over, hugging a pillow, being buried in blankets, is doing nothing for me. When I wake up in the mornings, I nearly bolt downstairs because I'm so cold and literally need to get into the hot shower. It's 45 out right now, and I'm already utilizing all of the blankets I brought (2 fleece, 2 others, 1 comforter, 1 sheet, and I've taken to also sleeping in sweatshirts) - what will happen when it gets to be below 0?! Indeed - something must be fixed.

So, this afternoon, Chad sets the thermostat to say "hold" and we put it at 66 degrees Fahrenheit. Suddenly, the heater begins working like a proper heater should! It emits heated air through vents periodically so that the house remains at 66. I can sit in my room, without being buried in blankets, and I am totally fine. My bedroom is habitable. I sit on the floor and read, and I don't shiver. It's wonderful! I hadn't even realized how bad it was until it got better.

Until it reached 11:00 pm. Because the heat has not gone on a single time since then. Which means, for some reason, the heater has gone back into "sleep" mode, despite it displaying a message that reads "Hold - 66." I know it's not 66 degrees anywhere inside of this house right now.

I even tried messing with the "schedule" - it says "sleep" beginning at 11 pm, so I set it to "wake" at 12am, figuring that since it's 12:20, the heat will go on. Of course, nothing happens.

I know I can purchase a space heater for my own personal use, but it seems ridiculous to spend the money to do so when the room/house is perfectly fine when the heat is actually on. Also, I'm sure the rest of the members of the house would enjoy having their rooms being heated as well.

I would probably sleep on the couch tonight, which is a floor lower than mine, and warmer, but I'm waking up last tomorrow morning, and I'm all about getting all of my sleep in. Sleeping next to the bathroom/kitchen doesn't seem like a good way to go about doing this.

What else can we throw into this Self-Pity Party? I feel extremely sick to my stomach for seemingly no reason; I went to a Grad School Fair this afternoon and obtained lots of brochures in addition to a heavy, sinking feeling that I have no idea what I want to do after college and I'm really disinclined to give a shit at this point; just low self-esteem in general lately - I haven't been good at anything since high school, really. I don't lead anybody, I don't inspire anybody, I don't excel in school, I'm not respected by my teachers and my peers. I don't even write any more. I don't know how everything changed so drastically, or how to make it stop. I don't know what my strengths are any more, or where my talent lies, if in fact I have any. And, if it's there, I don't know how to utilize it in a way that would benefit society whilst making me happy. I don't care what it is - I'd be okay with doing manual labor for the rest of my life if it would make me happy and help other people. I just want to know.


Current Music: rain
scribbled mystickeeper at 1:24 AM

Well, you're probably better off staying upstairs, since heat rises... unless your room is really poorly insulated.

Nice dark dingy color scheme- can I beg for you to adjust the black-text-on-dark-blue-field so that it's more readable? I hate having to highlight text just so I can read it, it makes me feel like I'm losing or something.

I don't know what I want to do after college, either. It's depressing to dwell upon. So stop dwelling!

By Blogger Gretchen, at 7:09 AM, October 11, 2006  

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