wMay 20, 2006

Twenty. (Haven't processed the age yet)

So, I should have just gone to bed after all, and my birthday ended up kicking ass.

I think I stopped wanting to be older after I turned 15 or something. Oh, well. I want to thank everybody for all of the birthday messages and everything. It all really does mean a lot. I know I tend to be rather caustic mostly all of the time, and it's hard for me to say things like "you guys mean a lot to me," so just know that all of you do. And I'm sorry if I scared some of you with the stuff I wrote last night. Sometimes it just needs to come out and be in words. I don't know why. It just does.

My birthday was kind of bizarre in itself due to all of the random phone calls and Facebook messages of people with happy wishes. This is obviously cool, but it's like an entire day wrapped in love or something, between them and the people I actually saw. Steph brought me a pinata, which was a mongoose/camel hybrid (YES). I'm sure pictures of that delight will be put up on Facebook at some point. I need to get better at taking pictures of fun times. But, yes. I really didn't want/expect presents from people, but all of the cards/gifts were extremely thoughtful, and I was very grateful for them.

I had people over for pizza tonight, and I didn't invite anyone from Madison. I feel a little bad about it, because like, having some of you here would have been awesome, but at the same time, I felt like having you come all the way up here just for a few hours would have been too much to have been worth it. So, please don't feel slighted. I didn't want it to be a huge....thing.

So, yeah. Not surprisingly, Sarah's card for me was exceedingly thoughtful, and it made me feel a lot better, particularly in light of last night's angst-fest on this blog. On the cover, it said ...and I think my shadow has grown wings of former darkness and upon reading it, I was like, "Well, that seems familiar" and then when I read what she wrote inside the card, I realized it's from a poem I had written a while ago. I've said this a few times the last couple of months, but I really wish that I was writing again. Even when it was emo poetry, there was a powerhouse of emotion there, and something is better than nothing. In fact, I think that I would write right now, if I wasn't so damn hungry.

I really want to do that thing where I read like, 8 books (okay, maybe only 4) at the same time because there is just that HUGE PILE in the corner of my room, right across from my bed, just WAITING to be read. In fact, I'll probably start a new book even though I need to get up relatively early for Olivia's friend!birthday part at the ROLA RENA (I can't even remember the last time I went there).

My friends - from high school/before, from Madison, from the Internet, and otherwise - are awesome, and I love all of you.

Current Music: Tobira no Mukou he - Yellow Generation
scribbled mystickeeper at 1:38 AM

It's not weird that it felt like a day of love.
That's the point!
A birthday is everyone celebrating that you're still alive and with us.
All things considered, being alive isn't so bad.

By Blogger Creighton Hogg, at 8:20 AM, May 20, 2006  

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