|wMay 23, 2006|
Sentiments, Broken Things, and General Discontent
I'm not entirely sure that this lack-of-school thing is a good thing. Now that I actually have time to process my thoughts and feelings, I am actually experiencing everything I usually spend a lot of time pushing aside and ignoring. I just sit and feel them, and I feel like I should write things like stories or crappy poetry to get it out of me, but for whatever reason, I still feel like I can't. So these things called emotions are festering.
My stupid phone is broken again. I mean, it still works. It's not like I dropped it on the staircase in Bascom and it snapped in half like it did in February or whenever that was. I picked it up off of the lamp table last night and when I tried to open, realized that it wasn't staying open. A spring or something broke, and now when I open my phone, it just rests in a less-than-90-degree angle. Talking on it is a lot of fun. I am sick of Sprint and their cheap-ass phones. The paint also started chipping on this one like, a month after I got it. I think my brother-in-law is going to come with me to get a Nextel phone. And it will be glorious.
I've been reading Wuthering Heights and I like it a lot. When I was younger, I never got into Jane Austen or the Brontë sisters because I thought they'd be stiff and boring, but ANGST! Delicious angst!
My dad is in the hospital tonight. Maybe I should have mentioned that first. It's for chest pains, but apparently it's okay because it's on the right side of his chest, and Bad Things are usually indicated by pain on the left side. My mom didn't really say much about it when we got home tonight, but my parents are always kind of weird like that. You would think that my father the pharmacist and my mother the nurse would be concerned about symptoms and things like that, but in my family it's like three weeks later, "Hey, your finger is turning purple now - maybe I should have taken you to the emergency room instead of yelling at you and telling you to go play the piano!" (yes, that actually happened to me - ask me to show you my left pinky sometime. It's still crooked.). So, they kept him over night to do some tests. My aunt had a minor heart attack a few months ago. So, I'm freaking out a little bit and trying not to think about it. This blog post is probably a direct result.
I had the first day of my internship today and even though I was ridiculously nervous, it turns out it will be really laid back, so I'm happy about that. Not as happy about returning to my job tomorrow night. There is no glory in my cashier-at-a-convenience-store-job. There is not even good pay. There are no cute boys (there are no boys ANYWHERE this summer! At least at school, I could look! I knew that I had no chance with anyone ever, but damn it, I could look). What's even better is that on Thursday, I get to work in Lawn & Garden for 3 hours. This is good because I like working outside because I like looking at the trees we sell, and straightening things, and the almost-no-customers. This is bad because I know absolutely nothing when it comes to plants and the like. I know the difference between perennials and annuals, but I don't know which is which. Do you plant annuals every year, or do they come up on their own every year? Not that it matters - I can't classify any plants into either category. It'll be great. "I don't know....let me call my manager." *nervous smile*
I finished watching the first season of Grey's Anatomy and now I really, really want to watch the second season (which is 2.5 times longer, and better!). Why does it not come out until August?? WHAT WILL I DO NOW?
Also, I find myself having absolutely no desire to watch anime. I think that this comes from watching television that actually has good dialogue. And that makes me care about characters without having to try. Maybe it's just because all of the series I'm currently watching suck except for Monster.
I think watching Grey's Anatomy has messed me up a bit, though. For the past 36 hours, I've felt a really strong desire to become a doctor/nurse, like my mom always wanted me to. Too late now, eh? I've already firmly established myself on the I-don't-know-what-the-hell-I'm-doing path. No turning back now.
Current Music: Where Does the Good Go - Tegan and Sara (current favorite song)scribbled mystickeeper at 12:37 AM
Perhaps with the free time you have for drowning in your own thoughts you should research plants and lawn care? Two birds with one stone. I really think volunteering is the best thing you could have done with your time other than get a more time-consuming full time job.
yay tegan and sara!!
It turns out it doesn't matter that I don't know anything about Lawn & Garden, because there will be three of us outside on Thursday, and one of them is the guy who knows absolutely everything. Apparently they've been sticking like, five people out there at a time lately, so hopefully things will turn out all right.
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