wDec 12, 2005


Cardinal and God

It seems that things have worked themselves out, and we will be signing the lease for the afore-mentioned house. The more I think about it, the more excited I am. It's a nice house, and it's going to be fun living with Chad, Louise, and Paul next year. HEEHEE. I know I would be looking forward to living with me! XD

I feel like a bad Packer fan because I didn't watch the game today. Oh well. I was busy procrastinating; sue me.

From talking to Eunice, Ben, and Jack, it sounds like the Daily Cardinal party on Saturday was a lot of fun. I'm sad I didn't go...but in a way, it really isn't my fault. It was far enough away from the dorm that I wouldn't want to go by myself and I didn't know that Eunice was going until after the fact. I didn't really want to be an inconvenience by making someone walk/take me back somehow, :/ Everyone at the Cardinal is so cool - it almost feels like Musical did freshman and kind-of-sophomore year, like everyone older is so cool and mature and you never think you'll be that awesome and all of a sudden in two years, you are those people. Except that won't happen because I don't write/won't edit for the paper, ;D It sucks that Ben won't be copy chief any more - it's definitely not going to be the same at all. Ben, you should come copy edit on Monday nights! We want to try and get the entire Monday night desk to stay for next semester!

For a number of reasons, I really, really did not want to go to church tonight. In fact, I had decided not to, but then I remembered that I was the lector for the second reading. I was upset, but a different choir was there, and they were really good. Also, the priest was the man who was a deacon at the end of last year, and his homily was *so* good. I don't even know what it was....I just like him so much more than the regular priest. The other priest seems to try so hard - with his hardcore inflections and hand gestures, like because we're college students he needs to do that and also jump-topics that are only vaguely related to the readings. But this one was really good, and very related to the readings, which essentially were a call to holiness. Also, when they read my petitions, they sounded like they were a lot more in place, because they coincided with the homily. The song that was sung during Communion was quite beautiful as well...I tried finding it online, but couldn't remember enough of the lyrics. Paul told me my petitions were good! And that my reading was good! I thought he was just being a whore, but this random girl after mass said, "Hey, you did really well reading tonight! That's the best reading I've heard in a really long time!" And I was like, XD
So, I don't know what exactly made me feel so at peace, but everything felt okay because I could feel the presence of God there. When I held my Tau in my hands, I knew everything was going to be okay. (Brief explanation for the Tau - I received it on a mission trip to Milwaukee. The leather cord that goes around my neck has three knots representing the three vows taken by priests/brothers/sisters - for chastity, poverty, and obedience. Two are self-explanatory, but chastity doesn't just mean no sex ever - it means like, even when you're married, you're faithful, etc. From this cord hangs something that looks like a T - but it is a Greek tau, which is the Franciscan's symbol because it's the smallest letter of the Greek alphabet, standing for simplicity.) Anyway...I clasped that in my hands, and I thought, nothing else really matters. I have this, and my only real goal in life is to try ever harder to be the best person I can be - not the best in terms of "success" as society defines it, but as God defines it - a good friend, daughter, leader, follower, and disciple. If I can bring myself to do that, then I can really ask for nothing more. Nothing else matters. It sounds so simple....but I needed that so much. Everything's going to be all right (rockabye).

It's not as easy as it seems
To carry the weight of your dreams


Current Music: Higher - Creed
scribbled mystickeeper at 12:25 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:

I'm smiling in happiness for you. That was a touching moment- I'm proud of you and honored that you share it!

Side note to psych you up for 215 next semester- all of Book III of the Faerie Queene, which is what we spent the most time on, is about chastity is you defined it here. You're so ahead of the game! It took like 2 lectures for him to establish what good chastity means!

By Blogger Gretchen, at 7:35 AM, December 12, 2005  

Awww....*feels all tingly inside*

Oh, and that is exciting for English 215! Huzzah!

I might have to talk to you about English classes again at some point.....I've been playing around with the timetable now that it's open again. But I think that I will have to play with it some more before talking to you....as it stands right now, I have one lecture on MWF, and T/TH has...*counts* four lectures per day. Obviously, some things need to change, ^^;

By Blogger Jackie, at 2:03 PM, December 12, 2005  

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