wApr 5, 2004

me = okay now

My computer needs to stop being effed up! Yiss. This weekend, I've rationalized. Subconsciously, I think. I'm not sure. Anyway. Lots of people tell me that I'm a good writer. I've been told that I have voice. One time, someone told me that "it sparkles" when I write. Everyone in my grade is voting me for "Best Writer" for Senior Gag Awards (even though it's not really a joke...and also, I highly doubt that the majority of the people voting for me have ever read anything I've written, but I guess it's nice to be thought of in a positive light). So, in other's eyes at least, I'm a good writer. And I guess I am in my eyes as well. I'm not nearly so good that I can even begin to start comparing myself to my favorite authors - I have an extremely long way to go yet....before I consider myself..."good." Some people, like my mother, think that writing is stupid. Well, I don't think she thinks writing in and of itself is stupid, but she thinks that writing with the intention of attempting to change the opinions of others is stupid. I do not agree with this. If no one speaks up, then how will anyone make up their minds? And people's opinions don't even have to change when they read what I write – all they have to do is read it, and maybe think about things in perhaps a different way. Or, if they don’t want to hear what they have to say, then they don’t have to read it. It works much like this blog does, I guess. Also, sometimes my writing ends up hurting people. But I think that’s more of me than my writing. Everyone says things that they shouldn’t, sometimes. And when you’re in a bad mood, or stressed out, then the probability of saying something you shouldn’t increases. When you write as much as I do, then sometimes it comes out in the written word. This doesn’t excuse it, but it happens. Oh well.

Writing is the only thing I have, really. I mean, you can’t be “good at reading,” can you? Maybe. If you can, then I have that too. But writing is what I’m good at. Writing is also what I love. And no one’s going to stop me from doing it, even if that person happens to be my mother. I think that I will send that letter to the local Catholic newspaper. Maybe no one wants to read it. But I have something to say. And I will not tolerate people telling me that that’s stupid. I’m a bit disgusted with myself for allowing my mom to get to me so much….I know she didn’t say what she said to be mean or anything. Oh well.

So, now here I am. I have a bad headache this afternoon and I’m not sure why. I just know I get to go babysit Dylan and ‘Mia because Olivia has some kindergarten meeting……KINDERGARTEN! My niece is almost in Kindergarten! *squeals* So, the evening will be spent eating, watching the news, babysitting, filling out the study guide for history, and reviewing the paper I wrote for government as I'm doing basically the same thing for Law. Yiss. Of course I'll blog if something new or exciting happens, but as this is rarely the case, don't hold your breath.

Current Music: The Red Summer Sun - Third Eye Blind
scribbled mystickeeper at 4:59 PM

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