Take my picture.

Take it without asking. Take my picture while I’m doing something I love, something that makes me happy. In a place where I can forget that my life often feels like one long activist battle, where I can not feel constantly on my guard, not feel always vulnerable to attack, not feel as though my body is up for debate.

Take my picture, and post it online, in as many high-traffic spaces as you can muster. Identify me if you want. By name, by location, by employer. Surround that picture with vitriolic commentary about my body, my femininity or lack thereof, my perceived sexual habits, my self esteem. Laugh, and laugh, and laugh, that gut-rattling laughter of unmitigated cruelty, that laughter that comes from laughing at people who don’t know you’re laughing at them, who were going about their lives and made a target simply for not falling, unseen, unremarkably, into culturally acceptable slots - people who are targets simply for failing to be invisible.

Take my picture every fucking day for a year. Post it online, and tear me apart. Point out the innumerable imperfections in my shape, my body, my face, my fashion choices, my eating habits, my health. Keep doing it. Do it again, and again, and again. Do it as loud as you can. Do it as often as you can bear it. Be as mean and as ugly and as unabashed as your nature allows.

Do it. Take it. Take my picture and eviscerate me online. It’s just a public, out-loud, communal version of what people do to me inside their heads every single day. It’s happened to me before, online and off. It’ll happen again. It’ll happen every day I leave the house, for the rest of my life.

I am still fat, and I am still not sorry. And nothing you can say, nothing you can post, nothing you can do will change that. No matter how many times you try to humiliate me. No matter how much you want me to hate myself. Because it’s my fucking body. And I don’t owe you a damn thing.

This incident, unfortunately, is not unusual. Fat people hear negative comments, see the disgusted looks, and feel the drawing back of people around them. It’s not a safe world to live in if you are a fat person. We lose our right to privacy. Pictures are taken for amusement. Our shopping carts are examined with the intent to judge our eating habits. Our health status is questioned. We are not treated with respect and dignity by employers, service people, or health care workers. This happens every time we step out of our homes. Unfortunately, these messages can be internalized. So not only do you face the challenges of dealing with society but you tell yourself that you are ugly, worthless and disgusting. So it becomes a radical act when you choose to live your life and love yourself despite the negativity that we swim thorough every day.

I’m not sure what this person’s objective was in posting these pathetic attempts at humor. But I know that they did not change my commitment to living my life joyfully and abundantly. And I prefer pictures to include my face.

Labels: feminism, wiscon, wiscon 32

14 Comments:

I also posted about this, here. The whole situation is unfortunate.

By  Barry Deutsch, at 1:09 PM, May 29, 2008  

What did she gain from tearing apart people the way she did? I wonder if it made her feel better about herself? I find that when people needlessly attack like this, it is because they are hurting inside. I don't know who damaged her but I hope she gets the healing she needs. Walking around with that kind of anger is not only harmful to the individual it is harmful for those around her.

By  Anonymous, at 11:17 AM, May 30, 2008  

She did it for the lulz.

By  Anonymous, at 10:36 PM, May 30, 2008  

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By  Anonymous, at 7:09 AM, May 31, 2008  

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By  Anonymous, at 4:50 PM, May 31, 2008  

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By  Anonymous, at 5:33 PM, May 31, 2008  

Just so you lulcows know, the more you all bitch about this situation, the more you will be troll'd and harassed. It is the internets. It is Anonymous. No one really cares, and most people who see the posts will snicker to themselves.

You let it die, and no one will remember this event in a week. If your community keeps things going, it will not go away. MANY communities have been attacked, and will keep getting attacked until there are no moe lulz to milk. You will not win this on the internet. If you want it to go away, ignore it.

Just a fair warning from an active member of the lulz community. Keep posting threats of physical violence and "internet lawsuits", you're just smacking the hornets nest with a half-eaten KFC chicken leg (extra-crispy!

By  Anonymous, at 9:02 PM, May 31, 2008  

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By  Anonymous, at 9:35 PM, May 31, 2008  

Keep posting threats of physical violence and "internet lawsuits", you're just smacking the hornets nest with a half-eaten KFC chicken leg (extra-crispy!


I haven't threatened physical violence in any of my posts, nor have I encouraged "internet lawsuits." In fact, I have done my best to dissuade people from posting personal information.

By  mystickeeper, at 12:45 AM, June 01, 2008  

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By  Anonymous, at 6:41 AM, June 02, 2008  

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By  Anonymous, at 3:17 AM, June 05, 2008  

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By  Anonymous, at 11:03 AM, June 06, 2008  

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By  Anonymous, at 9:33 AM, June 07, 2008  

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By  Anonymous, at 9:47 PM, August 13, 2008  

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