|wDec 20, 2005|
i've only got one scrap of sanity left and i don't know why i'm bothering to hang on
This is What Finals Do to Jackie:
Me: What time is your final?
Steph: *holds up both hands with all fingers outstretched*
Me: Ten?? No --- Twelve!
Steph: *slowly lowers hands while looking at me in disbelief*
I don't know if it's finals stressing me out, or spending so many hours at this damn desk with my damn back filling out outlines or what, but I've been wigging out for the last 24 hours or so. I don't know what the hell my problem is.
It'd be nice if I could eat a little, but ever since I was sick last week, I don't feel like eating and consequently, I barely eat anything at all. I only feel hungry when it's past midnight, and by that time I'm too tired to care.
Maybe it was realizing that I'm probably only going to get an A in one of my classes.
I have all of these little things to do...I need to call Heather, I still have Christmas presents to buy, today was my brother's birthday and I didn't call him, and I haven't started packing at all yet. I don't even know what I want to bring back home with me.
I spent today working on Comparative Politics but it was basically just filling out the outline of things I -need- to know and now actually memorizing it. I haven't looked at Geology at all yet, which is probably definitely most likely not good.
I'm sure it's just exam stress that can be considered the root cause of all of this. But knowing what it's probably stemming from doesn't make my mind stop jumping like an epileptic's worst nightmare.
For some reason, my mind keeps working out plot things for Gali, but now she's about ten times more developed as a character than the rest of them, so I'll need to fix that somehow.
Part of me doesn't want to go home. I don't want to see anybody. I just want to lock myself up in my room and write the entire time.
But I am so sick of----nevermind. That's enough.
Maybe my problem has just been listening to this damn song all day.
The Songs That Are Getting Me Through Finals:
"When You're Falling" - The Afro Celts
"Hallelujah" - Jeff Buckley (these lyrics are amazing - the other ones are too, but these especially)
Ending theme to Final Fantasy VII: Last Order OVA
Beethoven's 9th Symphony ("Ode to Joy")
Current Music: Hallelujah - Jeff Buckleyscribbled mystickeeper at 10:12 AM
I <3 ode to joy. hmmm... don't seem to have a copy of it anywhere though o.o
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