wOct 17, 2005


Reasons Why This Week Has Sucked

  • I felt sick to my stomach ever day, mostly after eating. Starting tomorrow, I'm counting points again for real and I don't care if I feel like I'm starving - after a few days, it'll feel normal again and I'll no longer feel sick-like.

  • I didn't get very much sleep any night because I never felt tired.

  • This thing happened on the personal-front, but then a couple days later it seemed to be the opposite of what I thought had happened?! But still, basically nothing. At best, I am confused.

  • Despite hoping for an A-ish score on the Geology midterm, I instead earned a high BC.

  • Chad's grandma broke her hip, and his dad came and picked up at like, 3:30 am and he's still gone. I hope they're all okay, :/

  • Despite trying really hard on the "When you first became aware of your race" paper, I received a lot of comments that I didn't agree with and it made me really upset. I still need to email my TA. (I got a B, but it's just the comments themselves that upset me)

  • We didn't go to Fright Fest at Great America.

  • Being really tired makes me act like a jerk to my friends, which makes me feel even worse afterwards because I really suck at being a good friend.

  • Realized what was making me so angsty/sickly - being a girl sucks!

  • I think Mom was sad she couldn't come visit with everyone else. She called twice on Saturday. I miss her, :/

  • Having fun with my family was awesome, but saying goodbye to them sucked a lot. May or may not have made me cry.

  • Anime Club really sucked. We'll just leave it at that. We watched 2 parts of this thing, and I just want to finish the damn thing because I'm thinking I won't make Jennifer sit through it next week, hehe.

  • I totally forgot about West Wing until 7:45, so I only watched the end and didn't really know what was happening. It's stupid, but it really upset me.

  • I actually remembered most of my dreams this week, but I'm realizing that all of my dreams center on people from high school, which makes me wake up feeling sad because I miss everybody.

  • I was going to start studying for Tuesday's midterm, but realized I had accidentally deleted a vital file somehow. I had went through all of the like, 80 emails this professor had sent out (this is the one who likes to send 11 in one day) and put the terms she explicitly defined into the "practice midterm" (basically a huge vocab list). After doing this each time, I deleted the email. My computer killed itself one night, so maybe that's when it happened....but I can't find it! So instead of studying I'm going to curl up in a ball and pretend things are okay.

  • Every semi-happy entry I wrote in here this week was followed by frantic, tearful scrawlings in my diary.

  • Writing all of that up really didn't make anything better...in fact, it made things worse. Woe, I am so angsty, but seriously, I don't know if it's stress getting to me or what, but I've felt like I was going to cry for about 80% of the time for the last 7 days. It needn't be discussed how many times actual tears were shed.

  • Basically, every facet of life that I can think of sucked somehow. I've been dwelling too much on feeling lonely and whatever, which obviously doesn't help.

  • But to be truthful, I still don't know what the hell my problem is.

  • I hate these dots.

  • That's better.

    Current Music: Winter - Tori Amos, Blackbird - The Beatles
    scribbled mystickeeper at 1:17 AM
    3 comments
    3 Comments:

    Cheer up ReeRee,
    Things will clear up. Hope everything else is going okay in Madison. If you get too bored, you could always come over and visit me!

    By Blogger Kristy, at 2:16 AM, October 17, 2005  

    Hope you feel better. I don't know why sometimes things just suck in life. But eventually things get better.

    By Blogger aeriscloud, at 12:07 PM, October 17, 2005  

    Much thanks to both of you! Encouragement is always good.

    And yes, Kristy, I'll hop on the next plane to Italy, ;P

    By Blogger Jackie, at 9:48 PM, October 19, 2005  

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